A week ago I swore I was getting gout.  My big toe was strangely numb and after almost three days the feeling wasn’t showing any sign of fading.  More than a few of my good friends have already been cursed with this bothersome ailment and my strong love for red meat and good brew sure as hell wasn’t making my situation look any better. Then I remembered the day before the symptoms started I sort of face-planted on the stairs at work when I didn’t lift my foot high enough and stubbed my toe on the edge of the step.  I was trying to carry a steaming plate of garlic chicken up to the sideroom where I could dine in glorious privacy and bother Cynthia.  When I slipped, I pretty much sacrificed my body to preserve my delicious bounty.  Elbows, shins, knees, ribs, and toe confronted defiant wood flooring so my lunch wouldn’t be spread out on the ground like a Sunset Thai Jackson Pollack painting.  So yeah.  No gout. -

A week ago I swore I was getting gout.  My big toe was strangely numb and after almost three days the feeling wasn’t showing any sign of fading.  More than a few of my good friends have already been cursed with this bothersome ailment and my strong love for red meat and good brew sure as hell wasn’t making my situation look any better.

Then I remembered the day before the symptoms started I sort of face-planted on the stairs at work when I didn’t lift my foot high enough and stubbed my toe on the edge of the step.  I was trying to carry a steaming plate of garlic chicken up to the sideroom where I could dine in glorious privacy and bother Cynthia.  When I slipped, I pretty much sacrificed my body to preserve my delicious bounty.  Elbows, shins, knees, ribs, and toe confronted defiant wood flooring so my lunch wouldn’t be spread out on the ground like a Sunset Thai Jackson Pollack painting.  So yeah.  No gout.

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